Can we go back to diapers?
By 
dad2twins on Jan 31, 2009 in All is not right with the world, Did I ask for your advice?, Farty Pants Twins, Featured, Huh? You must be kidding?, Random thoughts..., Warnings, What was I thinking?
My girls are almost four years old. Well okay, in April, but that’s close right? I never thought I would say this, but I long for the days of diapers on the girls. Yes, you heard me right. Please bring back the diapers.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t miss the expense of buying truck-loads of Huggies from Costco for the farty pants twins. My wallet is still thanking me for the savings benefits of early potty training. So why am I complaining? My greatest wish? Let me lay it out for you.
Please, please, please allow me the ability to drive more than 1 hour before having to rush to find a bathroom. Seriously.
The girls come by their need to find a bathroom “NOW” from their mom. I’m told she was exactly this way when she was a little girl. Her dad laughs at me as he reminds me how he can point out every bathroom in all of Germany and Austria on a map. Half their family vacation pictures are of bathroom structures at rest stops. Okay, I jest, but it was confirmed by no less than several familial sources, that no trip was complete without non-stop bathroom breaks. I often wonder how much they could have seen in two weeks if they hadn’t had all of these stops?
Heck, I wonder what I’m missing?
I am living my father-in-laws life as we speak. Multiplied by two of course. As we prepare to leave our house, I beg, threaten, bribe, and even plead for my girls to hop on the potty before we load up and head out. They always oblige me and go into the bathroom. I see them close the door. I am growing increasingly suspicious of them though. I am convinced they go into the bathroom so they can accept my bribes without guilt.
They are almost four years old you know.
I can just see them as they stand in there and say, “Just wait a few minutes and the daddy will be satisfied. Then when we get in the car we will tell him we have to pee. Ha, ha, ha, good times.”
Of course it never fails. As soon as we get a good head of steam, hitting full speed on the freeway, wind in my hair, the zen of driving overcoming me, I hear those words from the back seats…… “Daddy, we have to go potty. NOW!!!!!”
I’m snapped out of my trance. I panic to find a rest stop, restaurant, clearing in the road. Eventually, we find a place for the kids to pee. By this time, they are complaining that they REALLY HAVE TO GO. I rush them out of their seats and get them to a bathroom, bush, tree. Then it happens. Three pee drops later, the girls tell me their done. What? Done? Three friggen drops? Really?
“Don’t worry dad, we will have to go again really soon.”
Yeah, I bet you will.
To all those parents out there, heed my warning, don’t rush those kids out of those diapers. It is not a badge of honor to have your girls potty trained by 2.
Trust me.
Oh well, at least I’m meeting lot’s of new people at all of the pee stops along the way.
| 3.6 (2 people) |
I felt exactly this same way on our trip to Disney last month. Only it wasn’t our kids. It was my mom. I swear if you just whisper the word bathroom she has to go. I think she was just worried that when she really did have to go we wouldn’t be near a rest stop so she made us stop at every single one. It became a running joke. I’m still teasing her about her small bladder.
Christine | Jan 31, 2009 | Reply
Oh how I share your pain. Except for us it is restaurants and grocery stores. I know the location and quality of the bathroom in every establishment in the city. We hardly ever eat out any more because I spend the whole time in the bathroom and rarely get to eat my meal.
Car trips aren’t so bad for us because (I’ll shamefully admit) that I make the girls wear pullups on long car trips so we can make them hold it “just a little while until we can find a bathroom.”
julie r | Feb 3, 2009 | Reply
You need to change your plan. Let your lovely wife drive. Every time the girls stop to pee, you get to have a beer.
Tammy | Feb 4, 2009 | Reply
As usual, I can completely relate.
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah | Feb 4, 2009 | Reply