Fighting the loss of innocence, also known as, trying to be a good parent.
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dad2twins on Oct 19, 2007 in Did I ask for your advice?, Farty Pants Twins, Random thoughts..., Warnings, What was I thinking?
You may have heard about the Maine school providing birth control to middle school children? Whether you agree or disagree, I really don’t want to get into a debate here. This is not the right forum. Besides, I think Christine over at the Bean Blog has summed it better than I could in her post today.
What this article reminded me of, was the innocence of my youth and the stories my parents told of their “Leave it to Beaver” childhood. I fear our children are losing their childhood innocence younger and younger as each generation passes. Today, girls seem to be entering puberty much earlier then past generations. Also, both girls and boys are much more aware of their own sexuality way too soon. Have you seen how some kids dress lately?
I was talking to my Wife yesterday after reading the Maine School article and we both were trying to figure out why kids are exposed to all of this “Stuff” so soon in their lives. Is it the media, bad parenting, outside influences, all of the above?
How do we stop it? Can we stop it? Should we stop it? As a parent, I want only what is best for my children. I don’t want them starting puberty at 8, 9, 10, 11 years old. But I can’t stop it either. Today’s diets, sociological influences, and maybe even evolution are running the show. Yes, I can control the diets. I may even be able to manage some of the sociological influences. I can monitor what the kids watch on t.v. or on the computer, who they play with to some extent. But I have no real control over the proverbial kid next door when I’m not around. He will have my daughters ear. I must rely on my best parenting skills to be a better and larger influence in their lives then this kid. But as all parents know, we didn’t get an instruction guide when our kids are born. We are flying by the seat of our pants. Just praying that we are doing what is right for our kids. Drawing upon our childhood experinces with our parents. Drawing upon our knowledge of what is right and what is wrong. And their is the flaw. Some parents today, didn’t have good parents or learn what is good behavior and what is unacceptable behavior. Their children are already handicapped when becoming parents themselves. Add to that the influences of the outside world and we are left with an enormous task on our hands. Maybe that is why so many parents want to relegate the job of parenting to the schools.
That is why the Maine School story reminds me of all the scary things that go on out in the real world when I am not with my kids. Thankfully, they are only 2 1/2 and I still have some time to be a good parent and tell them what is right and what is wrong. But I fear I have no real influence over their bodies. Time will tick on and I can only hope that if my kids enter puberty early, they will know that sex is not something they should experiment with until they are truly old enough to know what they are doing and the consequences of their actions. I still have a few years to drive that home. Unfortunately, so does all of the influences in the outside world. I can only hope that as a good parent, I will win the battle and win the war. I hope I don’t have to worry about my daughters needing birth control pills at 11 years old. But if they do, I hope I taught them not be afraid to come to us, their parents, and not run to the school nurse instead. Because if that happens then I will know that I have failed as a good parent and my child’s innocence is truly lost.
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Maybe we could start with the double standard. Why would an 11-year-old girl need birth control? Because she’s having sex with an 11-year-old boy? Probably not. Who’s having sex with her and why?
Becky | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
My daughter turns 12 at the end of this month. She’s been menstruating for about half a year already. Physically, she’s in a position where birth control could be an issue. Do I think the school should be giving her birth control? No, but that’s because her mother and I have already made sure she understands what’s happening to her, her body, and what it all means. Other children aren’t so lucky.
Having birth control in the schools is an unsavory solution, but I think it’s preferable to ignoring the children that NEED information and assistance and DON’T get it at home (or at church, or the doctor’s office, etc.) My 2 cents.
PAgent | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Hooray for this post! I the article in my local paper this morning and was mortified. I mean, I was still playing with dolls at 11!!
Melissa R. Garrett | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
You have just discussed the very reason I have decided not to try to have children. Much as I think you know I have wanted to be a mother, pretty much, my whole life. Aside from the fact that I’m getting to old to start, I cannot rectify how I feel about the world I would be bringing them into. Even worse, I have to admit that I am terrified of trying to raise a kind, thoughtful, responsible individual in a time when these attributes have become liabilities. The mourning process over the demise of my dream of motherhood continues to be a brutal one, but every time I see or hear something similar to this post, I feel a little better about my decision. I think the only thing that might change it is moving to the English countryside.
Sunny | Nov 12, 2007 | Reply